This all may sound very silly, but I've realized that I'm more settled in to my own life and into myself than I've ever been.
For many years, I was always looking for change. New clothes. New furniture. New decorations. New places to live. I loved change. I needed it. I was chronically unhappy. I knew something had to change in my life, but I didn't know what it was.
When I joined Second Life, the changes were even easier to make. I was moving from one parcel of virtual land to another every other week. I went through more avatars than I could ever hope to count. I was buying new clothes, new houses, and new furniture all the time. Every time I got something new, I loved it, but in very short order I was unhappy again and wanted something else.
The other element of this was mess and clutter. My apartment was a disaster all the time. There were decorative knick-knacks everywhere, papers all over my desk, clothes piled on the chair, dirty dishes everywhere in the kitchen and living room, closets and cabinets stuffed to bursting...yeah, mess.
All of this began to change about six months ago. I finally had the relationship I wanted with my parents. I had cleared out a lot of my old *stuff* and therefore old parts of my life I needed to let go of to move forward. And most of all, I really began to sort out who I was and to be okay with it. Inside my head is less chaotic and messy, and that's taking form physically in my living space.
So as I stand and look around my tidy living room and tidy bedroom, I realize that I'm happier and more at peace than I've ever been before in my life. I'm so grateful for this, because much of my life has been incredibly stressful and painful.
I know I don't post much - I often go through times when I don't have anything to say, or else I don't feel like saying anything. Blogging has been a form of therapy for me, and apparently it's working. :-) If you'd like to keep in touch, you can find me on Twitter where I'm much more active.
